“Integrated management options”; “functional third-generational
programming”; “joined-up organisational capability”,…what corporate claptrap will they come up
with next?
We’re all familiar with it - corporate jargon
- that brain-numbing, business mumbo jumbo we have to suffer on rambling
corporate websites, woolly staff memos, stuffy company policies and
self-important mission statements. Pure, puffy, unadulterated verbal drivel
that’s rich in long-winded, complicated word nonsense and packed with
ridiculous and mostly American sporting metaphors. How many times have you
heard: “We need a level playing field to win this”, “As a company, we punch
above our weight,” and, “Could you give me a ball-park figure for that?” and of
course, “Let’s get our ducks in a row first.” Can we stop the rot? Buzz
words and phrases that serve no other purpose than to bamboozle and confuse
even the person delivering them.
Jargonitis
Here, for example, is a classic case of
public sector ‘jargonitis’:
“….will demonstrate
the practicability and cost-effectiveness of integrating and provisioning
service offerings beyond institutional boundaries, either as part of a Shared
Service arrangement or through an externally hosted provision, including
cloud-based services or applications.”
Hmmm…..that’s clear as mud and definitely one
for this year’s Campaign for Plain English Golden Bull Awards!
Clearly, jargon speakers and writers suffer
from one or all of the following: they’re compelled to use corporate buzzwords
as a substitute for thought, they have an inferiority complex which comes out
in a superior way; alternatively, they are trying to cover up the fact that
they don’t know what they are talking about.
Plain English is genius
Great communicators from Winston Churchill to
Martin Luther King, have always been able to express their thoughts and ideas
in vivid and down-to-earth English that even a three-year-old would understand.
In truth, the most effective and powerful communications are successful because
they create an emotional connection with the listener which speaks a truth we
can all relate to and identify with.
So, if you want your business communications
to really mean something to your audience, make them simple, meaningful and
emotive.
The E=MC2 Dejargonator
Here’s a list of jargon-busters to help you
on your way – our thanks to Grammar Party, Say No To Jargon and the E=MC2
Public Relations hefty jargon collection. This is an evolving list so please
feel free to send us your contributions. The Plain English Campaign is also
accepting nominations for their 2012 Golden Bull Awards at: http://www.plainenglish.co.uk/news/award-nominations.html
Actionable:
Which projects are actionable
this year?
PLAIN ENGLISH: Which projects can we do this year?
PLAIN ENGLISH: Which projects can we do this year?
Action item: This is an action
item for this week.
PLAIN ENGLISH: This is something we need to do this week.
PLAIN ENGLISH: This is something we need to do this week.
Air out: Let’s air
out that issue in today’s meeting.
PLAIN ENGLISH: Let’s discuss that issue in today’s meeting.
PLAIN ENGLISH: Let’s discuss that issue in today’s meeting.
At this juncture: We can’t go public at this juncture.
PLAIN ENGLISH: We can’t go public at this time.
PLAIN ENGLISH: We can’t go public at this time.
Ball-park figure: Give me a ball-park figure
for the job.
PLAIN ENGLISH: Give
me an estimated cost for the job.
Blue-sky thinking: We need blue-sky thinking.
PLAIN ENGLISH: We need to think with an
open mind.
Brain dump: We’ll need a brain dump
from you after the meeting.
PLAIN ENGLISH: We’d like
you to brief us after your meeting.
Bring to the table: What can you bring to the table for this project?
PLAIN ENGLISH: What can you contribute to this project?
PLAIN ENGLISH: What can you contribute to this project?
Close the loop: We’ll have to close the
loop on this conversation.
PLAIN ENGLISH: We need to
stop talking about this.
Core competencies: These are our company’s core competencies.
PLAIN ENGLISH: These are what our company does best.
PLAIN ENGLISH: These are what our company does best.
Core values: Our core values underpin the company.
PLAIN ENGLISH: The company has operating
principles.
Close of play: He wants it by close of play today
PLAIN ENGLISH: He wants it by the end of
today.
Disconnect: There’s a real disconnect here.
PLAIN ENGLISH: We have a problem.
Domiciled: He’s domiciled in Spain.
PLAIN ENGLISH: He lives in Spain.
Expeditiously: It needs to be done expeditiously.
PLAIN ENGLISH: Do it quickly.
Face time: We need more face time.
PLAIN ENGLISH: We need to talk to each other
more.
For the purpose of: For the purpose of clarity…
PLAIN ENGLISH: For clarity…
Forthwith: It needs to be done forthwith.
PLAIN ENGLISH: Do it immediately.
Granularity: There’s not enough granularity in this.
PLAIN ENGLISH: We need more detail.
Think outside the box: We need to think outside the box.
PLAIN ENGLISH: We need creative ideas.
